Thursday, March 10, 2022

update: 10 march 2022

It's interesting to read my last update, from March 2021, in light of how I'm feeling right now. 

Over the past year, I've had a pronounced uptick in PTSD symptoms, anxiety, insomnia, and overall body pain and tenderness. 

There's no clear reason for this. Some of it might be stress-related -- but when is there not stress? Why would stress exacerbate symptoms now, but not always? Who knows. Perhaps these conditions fluctuate with no clear cause, and we ascribe causes after the fact, finding patterns amid randomness, as humans do. 

I've started taking 5-HTP twice daily, as there is some evidence that it reduces fibromyalgia pain. I can't really say if it's helping or not. My symptoms fluctuate, and there are so many factors, it's sometimes impossible to discern if a particular treatment is having a positive effect. I'll probably take it for a few months then decide whether or not to continue.

The other thing I'm doing is getting more rest. This means lowering my expectations of myself in any given day -- working less, working at a humane pace, taking time off when I need to, whether officially with sick time, or unofficially by quietly doing less.

In general I'm ticking along, and feeling fortunate to have all the supports I need, and the wherewithal to manage them. And/but it does get tiring sometimes.