It's been a very long time since I updated this blog, but I haven't abandoned it. In the three years since I posted about PTSD and EMDR, in relation to my fibromyalgia, several things have changed.
After four years as a local union president, I decided not to stand for election again. My labour activism was one of the best experiences of my life, and I will always remember it with pride and joy -- but I'm very glad that chapter is over.
I didn't appreciate the toll it was taking on me, both physically and mentally, until I left and had some distance. I now realize that I was overdoing, and it was exacerbating my fibro symptoms all the time.
I've come to a place of acceptance of my PTSD as a permanent part of my life. It seems strange that it took me nearly 30 years to do that! This acceptance has led me to stop seeking any treatments or processes that might aleviate the symptoms.
To those ends, I never tried EMDR. I read an excellent book, The Evil Hours: A Biography of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (my review is here), which really turned me off from the idea. I probably placed too much importance on the author's analysis -- but the book gave me permission, so to speak, to leave off EMDR from my to-do list. I've done all the exploration I want to do. Choosing to end that thread is a good feeling: exercising control.
Treatment Update
Here's what I've done for treatment since my last update.
- I haven't changed or reduced any of my medications or supplements. I've tried a few times, as the nutraceuticals are expensive, and the prescription meds have side effects. After a few days, there's an increase in pain and other symptoms, and my experiment ends.
- I went back to Exhilarin. It helps me think. I still struggle with concentration, especially when there's background noise or competing conversations, and at night. But the Exhilarin helps, so I stick with it.
General Health
We've experienced another Big Life Change (what else is new?) and my focus for this year, and probably beyond, is to increase my fitness level. (I wrote about it here.) This will be very gradual and I don't know how far it will go, but it will be interesting to see what impact it has on my fibro, if any.
